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On raining day, what would happen if you are waiting to somebody on the street. Most people do not want to wet their body. How will you avoid a lot of raining? I am an international student. In December 2008, I arrived in America for studying English. At that time, I did not have a car, so my cousin usually took me to go to school and home. One day that day had a lot of rain but my cousin who had really important meeting, so I had to wait for while on the street. After that happen, I could get a new hobby.
Nowadays, I often go to coffee shop. When I stayed in Korea, I though coffee shop was just drink some beverage after eating. I realized my thought was wrong. Most people who live in Northwest have relaxed because here has a lot of rain, so people need to avoid rain. When I was waiting my cousin, I just stood on the smoking area which could avoid rain. My cousin saw me that and he told me, “You can go any coffee shop like Starbucks or other place.” After that, I tried to go Starbucks and I used that place.
However, I had simple problems that I could not speak well. When I went to Starbucks, I could not order completely because there had a lot of menu. I never had been Starbucks in Korea, so I did not know how I should order. Fortunately, I went to there with my friend who could speak English and like coffee. I could order through my friend. First time I tried to drink just regular Americano, but that was really bitter.
After that, I never had drunk Americano, but I usually drink another one that is caramel macchiato. I think most of people like caramel macchiato that is little bit sweet and soft. Before drink coffee, I did not know about coffee, but now I knew and I learn about coffee. Last summer, my friend was drinking a cup of coffee that was Frappuccino. I was curious and I tried little bit. That was really cool and almost same with caramel macchiato because that one was caramel Frappuccino. I could have another favorite coffee through friend, so now I have two kinds of my favorite coffee.
I did not know coffee and I could not order some coffee. However, I learned America culture and coffee. In addition, If I have to wait my cousin or my friend on raining day, I can avoid rain and get relaxed time. Getting new things can change mind and can improve my ability. Besides, I hope to learn another interesting thing.
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1. Is there a clear thesis at the end of the introduction?
ReplyDeleteyes
2. Does the thesis have a topic and controlling ideas?
NO
3. does the thesis address the essay topic well?
YES
4. are there at least two body paragraphs of 5 or more sentences?
YES
5. Does each body paragraph have a clear topic sentence, and does the topic sentence clearly connect to the controlling ideas of the thesis?
YES
6. Can you easily find at least one major detail in each body paragraph? If not, please let the writer know where you are confused about the major detail.
YES
7. Does the writer EXPLAIN and GIVE EXAMPLES for each major detail, and do they help you understand the major detail better? If not, please let the writer know that he/she needs more detail. Also let the writer know if you think the details are not exactly relevant.
YES
8. Are the details concrete, not too general? let the writer know if s/he needs to give more interesting, concrete details.
YES
9. How is the conclusion--does it cover the main ideas and thesis in new words, and does it make a comment that really makes you think about the essay topic some more? Please be specific about your feedback, don't just say Yes or No.
IT HAS SOME NEW WORDS BUT I THINK IT IS NOT REALLY MAKE ME THINK ABOUT THE ESSAY MORE
10. What do you like best about this essay? be specific.
I LIKE THIS STORY